Last night, under the soft glow of twilight, draped in the tapestry of our Istanbul apartment, we gathered for our monthly meeting. I swear the air thrummed with more than just the heat, the atmosphere humming with anticipation in a way I couldn't explain, even if I wanted to. I am a blogger known as Anara, oscillating between two worlds and thriving in a daring space—home to unorthodox love, unbounded by societal norms, and thriving on the adage, 'the heart wants what it wants.' My two partners, Kerem and Ece, are the stars of my story. On Anussy.com, I share our experiences, the joys and trials of polyamory. We are intertwined in ways most people fail to understand and sometimes, so do we. But there’s beauty even in the chaos—the thrill of giving, receiving, and coexisting in love with two people.
The slow build is like a reverse version of a dance we're taught to move to since birth in our conservative Turkish society: the dance of control. It's a waltz that cascades and tangles into a desire that won't be tamed, fought against a backdrop of whispers and sneers. To the onlooker, it might seem like madness, like a heart torn between two loves, ricocheting within the confines of my chest. But it's so much more than that—it's a heart magnifying its capacity to love, unshackling itself from the confines of monogamous tradition. Ece's laughter, carefree and full of life, rings out in contrast to Kerem's quiet rumination. They're the yin and yang of my existence—each complimenting the other in a balance that’s as fragile as it is strong.
The dance, though unstructured, has its own rhythm—a seductive melody that ebbs and flows, consuming and pacifying in turns. It’s not just about exploring bodies; it's about meandering through the labyrinth of thoughts, of vulnerability and fears, of strengths and dreams that each harbors. It’s about navigating feelings that surge like a tempest, threatening to break loose. The control is not a constraint, but a discipline—an understanding that one heart can, indeed, harbor love for more than one, and yet remain steady. A dance that swings with the melody of our shared passion, like the intricate weaving of a Turkish rug—colorful, complex, and beautiful.
I take in a deep breath, inhaling the essence of Kerem and Ece; Kerem with his smoky masculinity, all quiet strength and silent solace, and Ece with her heady femininity, vibrant laughter echoing long after she's spoken. By the time the night wore off and the glow of the old city tones down, we find ourselves nestled against each other—a trio bound by love, understanding, and a promise of tomorrow. The aftermath of our meeting, however, isn't a battlefield, but a garden in bloom, a testament of love that's thrice as strong, thrice as real.
And later, when I will sift through this kaleidoscope of emotions, channeling them into another blog entry for my tribe on Anussy.com, I’ll make sure to capture this essence—the unspoken endurance, the delicious buildup, the delirious release. I'll lay bare the complexities and charms of a polyamory lifestyle—raw, passionate, and unapologetically real. Love, as we know and live it, demands a courage not everyone possesses. And to those who do, I wish a life lived to fullest, a heart that loves with no regrets, and an enduring dance, beautiful in its own unique rhythm.
